Communication is learned

1. A young man related his frustration that when he had to call a school to arrange for his teaching internship, that he had to repeat the purpose of his call, at length, to each of the multiple people who handled his call. He had failed to understand that each of these people were a unique audience, and that each of them did not need to have the same amount or kind of information as the others.

One implication of “communication is learned” is that new communication skills can be taught. In this case, the boy received instruction to craft a concise message for those who would be directing his calls, and a more complete message for the person whose decision and approval he needed. Upon his next attempt, he experienced less frustration and more efficiently handling of his phone call by following these principles. He began to understand that communication is learned -- and that there are skills that he can acquire.

2. Family communication patterns learned in two different families can conflict when they meet in a new family. A young man learned to avoid conflict and to maintain control by using silence. His new wife has learned to confront conflict with discussion.

These contradictory approaches to conflict resolution will, in themselves create another conflict. Without an understanding that communication is learned, both the man and the woman may: 1) attribute malicious motives to the other person, and 2) give up hope that new communication patterns can be learned.

3. From MSNBC’s announcement of their program, “Ronald Reagan: The Great Communicator”: “Ronald Reagan was one of the most popular presidents of the twentieth century. But he was also the focus of an intense debate that continues to this day. Was he a visionary leader, the kind that only comes along once in a lifetime? Or as his critics contend, just a disengaged former actor blessed with incredible good luck and communication skills? Perhaps he was a little bit of both.”

Ronald Reagan’s critics and supporters called him The Great Communicator, and attribute much of his popularity to his communication skills. As this program synopsis illustrates, those skills are often attributed to some natural, hereditary or supernatural gifting. However, there are numerous books documenting that Reagan was often lost without a script. His skills were primarily one that any person can learn – effective delivery of a rehearsed and memorized message. The implication is twofold: communication skills are important in social and political success, and anyone can increase their influence through communication training and practice.

4. People with verbal disabilities are often considered to be unable to communicate, and in relation to that, unintelligent. The most famous example of this might be Helen Keller, however more contemporary examples abound. The DEAL communication center in Melbourne Australia (http://home.vicnet.net.au/~dealcc/welcome.htm) is an organization that teaches persons with verbal deficits alternate ways of communicating.

Implications: Understanding that communication is learned provides a foundation for mediating physical, mental and social disabilities that might impair more normal communication modes. Persons who might otherwise be marginalized in society can be come more integrated through communication training.

5. “Natural Communicator to urge classmates at URI commencement not to fear failure.” This headline caps an ironic news item from the University of Rhode Island Department of Communications News Bureau. (http://www.uri.edu/news/releases/html/03-0509.html), In the article, the student giving the commencement address is referred to as a natural communicator – by the communications department. In the commencement speech, the student intends to stress the importance of effort and learning. Ironically, she is billed as someone who has not had to do that in her chosen field: communications.

Implications: Treating communication as a ‘natural ability” tends to relegate poor communicators to a lesser class, and ignores the potential contribution they may have within an organization. Good communication is often rewarded socially and in business, yet few businesses invest in communication training for employees.

Conclusion

Communication is a dynamic process, driven by skills that can be learned through study, practice and social interaction. As individuals seek to create units of meaning upon which to build social transactions with others, they often fail to consider the holistic nature of the communication process, and instead, base their interpretation upon limited experience, truncated perspective, and narrow beliefs. A simple recognition of the complexity of the communication dynamic should help all of us become, if not more skillful communicators, at least more considerate ones.